Philippine Trends: How to hook up a straight guy!

This goes out for the often rejected and frustrated gay lovers or to coin it short: ACCESS DENIED!

I happen to be one of them. In the Philippines, gay communities or most commonly termed here as the BISEXUALS (actually, they're not even bisexuals. Most often, they credit themselves as one as either top or bottom but apparently, they are all homosexuals) have a less serious perception of a hook-up.

Here in my country, as in my opinion, you can rarely find a true blue bisexual. Many are actually calling themselves a bisexual but apparently they are not. The trend here is shortly becoming westernized as is. Less than a decade ago, you can automatically point out a real gay on the streets. They wore skirts, tight fitted blouses with fake boobs and fake hips, wore make-ups and even had their eyebrows plucked.

During those times, men viewed gays as a mere outcast in the society. Most gays are victims of cruelty, racism, and physical and emotional abuse. They are just unaccepted in the society.

Early 21st century when the gay society in the philippines started evolving. Like in western cultures that you find gay men as an ADONIS with perfectly toned bodies and looks like a real man. No make-ups, no plucked eyebrows, and most of all not wearing womens clothings (except of course for drag queens and thats another story). They are called the closet queens. Apparently, the cross-dressers still exist nowadays and the numbers are still large.

The problem is, most of the closet queens or as what they call themselves as bisexual has these impound preferences for hook-ups over one another. As for example, chatting at MIRC once, most chatters prefer to have a Gym-toned, Athletic built, Straight-acting, No chubs, No effems etc... etc...

What about those stocky, chubby, cross-dressers and the likes who also needed a hook-up?
What if these stocky, chubby, not so striaght-acting or even cross-dressers has lot more potential than those gym toned athletic built but to the fact that they are even worse than those others mentioned earlier?

I may be a stocky, chubby not so striaght acting with eyebrows plucked and lips shimmer in gloss lipstick but i am proud that in my whole years being gay, i had 7 serious relationship with straight men. And if i mean serious, its really serious.

I know i may sound crazy or stupid and pretentious, but let me point it out, I AM NOT.

I dont prefer having relationships over my same gender profile but I can give some really good advise to those who wanted to have hook-ups with a straight guy. I did it so many times and i proved it effective and hell of an experience. At least or so i think.

Here are some tips:

1. Look for a possible target. In my experience, possible targets can be those guys who are "Magino-o pero medyo Bastos" type (Horny Gentleman as what I coined it)

2. Study his personality. Here's a few more tips -- a serious guy could be an easy target but an easy going one could be a challenge.

3. Try to befriend him. But please do not let yourself down as in offering him something or trying to please him with things usually done by transvets with their men. This is not only a hook-up, but youre trying to get a serious relationship here.

4. Be patient, this usually takes about a month or two. BUT a good relationship starts with good company first.

5. Try to change your persona to an adventurous type. In my case, im an extremist. Doing skateboard, breakdance, professional biking and wallclimbing. Try to invite him for a billiard, a net gaming, watch action films, poppin in to rock shows. Avoid doing all those feel good stuffs usually done by transvets. This would make him feel at ease with you even thouh youre gay. But remain to be who you are just as what you used to be.

6. Surely, the guy has a weakness. One of it is his circle of friends. Befriend them. Surely, one of these nights, they will invite you to a drunk session (in Philippines, drunk session is getting drunk till dawn).

7. Once this happen, try to act like youre a virgin. They will surely tease you for that. But let it happen. Its part of the plan. Do not let your subconscious drown into your emotion. Remain focused even if you start to feel the effect of alcohol circulate into your system. This is the time when he will start to gain confidence and trust towards you.

8. The plan doesnt require you to spend money, but at least be considerate, donate whatever you can for the drunk sessions. This will happen again -- oftenly. I remind you, DO NOT OVERSPENT for the guy will surely think that youre playing.

9. You will know if he gained trust or confidence towards you because he will be inviting you over his house or a friends house and even going to mall. but sure thing is, it is the time when he can talk to you silly things and can even trust you his phone or wallet and other stuff when he is playing basketball. He will no longer be ashamed of putting his hands over your shoulders while walking or even hug at you.

10. Once this happens, you are 75 percent successful.

11. After playing basketball, or in a drunk session, try offering him a body massage (even if you dont know how to do it -- just give your best shot!) this is a million point score for you (a billion point score for those who really knew how to give a good massage like me). He will not refuse the offer IM SURE (massage are men's ultimate weakness!).

12. While giving a massage (AS IN WHOLE BODY MASSAGE - meaning hes only with his underwear or at least jersey short), gently stroke his weak points: for the Upper Body -- The Trapezius, the Nape, the side of the Rib Cage, and his buttocks; Lower body is his Gastrocnemuis, the Inner and Outer thigh and the heel -- the weakest point is the inner thigh. During this time, will feel unassure about what youre doing but remain focused. Let him feel that youre doing nothing other than massaging even though you feel damn horny stroking those body! By this time, he will also feel horny because the electricity that youre creating will also be diverted into his system. He will feel that heat! (to those of you who doesnt know where to find the body parts im referring to, please take a look at your anatomy book)

13. Ask him to lie prone to you. Tell him that you will massage his arms. After, you will massage his chest and abdomen. This is the best part. While gently stroking the abdomen, look deeply into his eyes and try to seduce him unnoticeably. Then take a glimpse of his manhood, you will see it gently arising from the grave. But remain steady. Dont let your subconscious drown into your emotions and horniness. Gently stroke his abdomen in a circular motion until you reach near his mons pubis. While Stroking, try to bump your arms into his manhood while acting like you didnt mean it. This will create arousal. But still try to act like your purpose is to only give him a massage.

14. Talk to him. tease him about his arousal and try to create a humour that has a deep meaning onto it. This would take a lot of imagination. Just try and be yourself. When he tries to close his eyes with his hands, thats one hell of a GO SIGNAL. But try to be demure, at least let him feel that you have been a good companion by not taking the situation for granted. Try to remain steady. Tell him that youre almost done.

15. Some men actually likes to play devils advocate but at least be an angel. Let him miss the moment. He will surely have those illusions running into his mind.

16. Now heres the big deal. you are 95 percent done. After missing the moment, when he ignores you, it means that he just wanna play game and not serious hook up. But if youre still his company, invite him for another massage next time, repeat the procedures, talk to him about getting serious and if is ok with him, then what can you do? GET LAID!



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